Clurichauns and Far Darrigs

“Disgusting degenerates, every last one of them!” my leprechaun friend, cried out.

This was during one of our recent Zoom chats. I’d asked him to tell me about clurichauns, who are supposed to be cousins to the leprechauns, and those were the first words that came out of his face. His face twisted up with disgust, and if he wasn’t so tidy and fastidious I would have sworn he was going to spit on his floor.

“Shiftless, useless,” he went on to add. “Always drunk, always causing trouble.”

“So that part is true?” I asked.

“Don’t get me started,” Declan groaned. “They’re always dirty and disheveled and couldn’t hold their liquor if it had a handle. Mean drunks too. Always ready to pick a fight, always causing trouble.” He took a moment to adjust the lapels of his immaculate red coat. “Now us leprechauns are known to play pranks on humans, but they’re to teach them a lesson about being greedy and to appreciate what they have. But Clurichauns are a different story, destroying property, harassing livestock, breaking into homes and stealing everything in sight. And they’re hypocrites too! If they break into a house and find a human servant stealing, they’ll beat seven

shades of shite out of them, they will.”

“Do you think that’s maybe just to get their hands on whatever it is the humans are trying

to steal?” I asked.

Declan shrugged. “Could be. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

I didn’t mean to get Declan so worked up, talking about clurichauns. For the safety of our friendship, I decided not to ask him about the belief some humans held that clurichauns were

actually leprechauns that had gone on a bender – or had fallen from grace somehow.

“I suppose you’ll want to know about far darrigs too,” Declan snorted.

I really did and had planned on asking, but if talking about clurichauns got Declan so

upset I could only imagine how he’d feel talking about far darrigs, who were supposed to be

cousins to both leprechauns and clurichauns.

“Far darrigs.” Declan shook his head. “Horrible, horrible creatures. I mean, sure clurichauns are always up for a scrap, especially after a few drinks in them, but they mostly brawl with each other. Far darrigs, on the other hand, there’s something wrong with them.They’re just not right in the head. Sure, they play their pranks and cause mischief. Humans are their favorite targets, and unfortunately sometimes their antics lead to injury or even death. And the buggers see nothing wrong with it! It’s just some craic (good times). “Oh, and they take to wearing red too,” Declan huffed. “An insult to a leprechaun's traditional choice of attire. Clurichauns are prone to wear red too. Between the two, that’s why so many leprechauns have chosen to wear green and brown in order to not be associated. Me?” He grinned and straightened his red bowler hat. “I’ll never deviate from tradition.”

“Good for you.”

We each raised a glass of whiskey in a toast.

“The worst thing about far darrigs is they like to kidnap humans,” Declan continued.“They roam through villages and countrysides at night with large burlap sacks, big enough to fit a grown man. They hunt humans like wild game, digging holes, setting traps, and ganging up on them. They love taking little kiddies and leaving a changeling in their place.”

“What do they do to them?” I was almost afraid to ask.

“They keep them,” said Declan. “Raise them up like their own.”

“So a lot of far darrig were once human?”

Declan nodded. “It’s hard to tell. Just being around them makes them all twisted and ugly like other far darrigs. Grown-ups get off a little easier. They'll be forced to be servants, do all the

cooking and cleaning. Eventually, the far darrig get bored with them and let them go.” 

“Is there any way to protect yourself against them?”

“There are chants and charms, but by the time you realize what you’re up against, the far darrig have already got you. Best way to protect yourself from these nasty bastards – don’t go out at night.”

I grinned. “I’ll do that. Thank you.”

Declan and I sat and drank for a while longer. He told me more stories too about the mystical creatures that lived in Ireland, and those will be the subject of future blog posts.