Interview with a Leprechaun

Anyone close to me knows that I do a lot of research for my writing, and since I write about the supernatural I’ve visited a lot of “colorful” web sites. I’ve also joined some online groups filled with people who swear they have had firsthand encounters with the supernatural. 

Lately, my focus has been on Irish mythology and folklore. I’ve visited a few websites and chatted with a few interesting people. Nothing unusual. Then, the other day, I received a DM from someone claiming to be an actual leprechaun. 

I laughed out loud. I mean, who wouldn’t? On one hand, I do like to consider myself openminded, and that there are “more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt in our philosophies.” 

My new leprechaun friend also included a Zoom invite. I figured why not. This was in the morning, and the invite was for the afternoon, so I had a few hours to think about what I would want to ask a leprechaun. 

The time finally came. I clicked on my Zoom invite and got the audio and video ready. The next thing I knew, sure enough, I was face-to-face with an actual leprechaun. A smile on his wizened face, he greeted me and introduced himself as Declan Dromgool. 

Once the initial shock faded, I engaged in a bit of small talk and took a moment to examine what I saw on my screen. He sat at an antique wooden desk. He was short. I figured he was about two feet tall, because he was using an iPad the same way an average sized person might use a desktop computer. 

Behind me, I saw polished stone walls and floors, decorated with paintings and all sorts of artwork. We must have been in some sort of cave. My host confirmed this, saying that he lived in an underground burrow in the forest surrounding the Cooley Mountains in County Louth, Ireland. He assured me though that the WiFi connection was excellent, and we should have no interruptions during our interview. 

Me: I want to thank you again for sitting down and talking with me. This is an amazing opportunity. I really appreciate it.

Declan: My pleasure, lad. With everyone writing so much about the Greek and Norse quote-unquote mythologies, I’m glad to hear someone is ready to give the Irish their due.

Me: I want to point out to my readers first the way you’re dressed. You’ve got on a nice red jacket with seven rows of buttons with what looks like seven buttons in each row. 

Declan: You are correct, sir.

Me: You’re also wearing a white shirt with ruffles and frilly wrists, and a red tri-corner cap. 

Declan: (held up a leg) Don’t forget me red breeches and black stockings. 

Me: What many people don’t know is what you’re wearing is a traditional leprechaun outfit. Red is your color. Not green.

Declan: Tis true. I don’t know how, but at some point in history humans decided to put us all in green. I guess they thought red wasn’t a good color on us, perhaps because of our ruddy complexions. 

Me: That could be. Now the first leprechaun story came from medieval times, “The Adventure of Fergus Léti.” In it, Fergus, who’s the king of Ulster at the time, fell asleep on the beach and woke up to find three leprechauns dragging him into the ocean.

Declan: (Shakes his head and sighs) The folly of youth.

Me: No one has been able to pinpoint the year this story was supposed to take place. Would you know by any chance?

Declan: Let’s see, when was that Jesus fella born again? It was some time before that. Och, lovely lad that Jesus was. Shame was happened to him.

Me: So how long has your race been around then?

Declan: (Chuckles) Let’s just say I knew the Cooley Mountains outside my door when they were just bumps in the road.

Me: (Chuckles) That’s quite old. You look great for your age. 

Declan: Cheers, lad. 

Me: What’s your secret?

Declan: (Shrugs) Genetics.

Me: Fair enough. While we’re on the topic, can you tell my readers a bit more about the different faerie races?

Declan: I must say I’m impressed you already know faerie is more of a generic term. My kind fall under that category as do many others. 

Me: In other words, all faeries don’t look like Tinkerbell?

Declan: (Chuckles) Exactly. So anyway, there are three types of faeries. You’ve got your Domestics, like Brownies, who’ll take care of a person’s home for them. Then, there are your Solitaries, which include us Leprechauns among others. Then, you got your Trooping Faeries. They get that name because of the fancy parades they’re always having. They’re always followed by a big dance. Your kind would call them elves. They’re faeries royalty. I don’t have much use for them, except for their gold.

Me: Could you go into more detail about that?

Declan: Like all of my kind, I make shoes, and the faerie royalty with all the marching and dancing they do, they definitely wear out their footwear, that’s for sure. They pay well too. I have to give them that.

Me: So is that the source of the leprechaun’s legendary pot of gold?

Declan: We’re a frugal lot, saving our coin for a rainy day and all that.

Me: And do people try to catch you and make you give up your pot of gold?

Declan: (Chuckles) Oh, there have been many over the years, and each one of them dumber and greedier than the last. One of my favorite stories, this bloke catches me in the woods and makes me tell him where me gold is. 

Now when this happens, I am honor bound to take that human to my actual stash. After all, fair is fair. So I take this bloke deep into the forest to this oak grove and bring him to the tree that me gold is buried under. 

This bloke considers himself clever, and he ties a bit of rope around the oak and tells me not touch that tree. I promise I won’t. So the bloke runs home to fetch his tools. When he gets back (starts laughing), now I kept my word and didn’t touch that tree, but what I did instead (laughs) was tie the same kind of rope around every tree in the grove. 

Me: That’s great. I love it. On that note, I think we’re going to go ahead and wrap up our interview. I want to thank you again for your time, Mr. Dromgool.

Declan: Och. It’s Declan, lad. And it was a pleasure. 

Me: I don’t suppose you’d let me take a screenshot, will you, so people can see you?

Declan: (Shrugs) You can try.

I took a screenshot and thanked Declan again for his time. I exited Zoom, and although I was eager to see how screenshot came out, I shouldn’t have been surprised that the picture was completely black. 

Why that little …! 

Oh well, even though I wasn’t able to provide a picture of my guest, I still hope everyone enjoys my interview with a leprechaun.