For those who read the newsletter I sent out earlier this week, my unexpected and prolonged absence was due to me getting a gifted teaching position. It could not have come at a better time and was indeed an early birthday present from the Universe.
Since the Pandemic, I'd taken a break from classroom teaching to work on my writing and to study marketing. For the two and a half years prior to landing my new job, I was the site-based emergency sub at a K-8 school in South Phoenix. The money was great, and I didn't have to take any work home with me.
I showed up at the same school everyday, and if a substitute teacher did not show up I stepped in. If I wasn't needed to that capacity, I would support other teachers on campus. I didn't think much of the job at first. It was just a way to make money. However, the administration and staff, in the beginning, made me feel very appreciated so I decided to stay on. Unfortunately, that did not last.
I considered myself to be very professional and sincerely wanted to help out. However, let's just say, I learned a lesson in setting boundaries. During those last few months at that school, I went from feeling appreciated to being taken for granted. I also realized that, despite the facet I'd been there longer than some staff members, I was always going to be "just a sub."
One of the turning points came when I was assigned to support the overpopulated sixth grade class (who were chockful of attitude by the way) for multiple days a week -- without the courtesy of being consulted first. I also had to find out about it in an email -- that wasn't even directed to me. I was Cc'd on it, along with the sixth grade teacher and members of administration, stating that I WILL be assisting this teacher on a regular basis. My first response was to reply -- I will?
The big ONE came when I was asked to help support the custodians during lunch time one afternoon. In other words, help clean up after class after class of messy kids. I drew a line, stating I AM NOT A CUSTODIAN. The admin' agreed, and I was never asked to do anything like that again. Incidentally, I wasn't an employee of the school district. Instead, I worked for an outside agency. My supervisor had my back and told me I was not supposed to engage in any duties that were outside of my job description -- such as cleaning up after messy students during lunch time.
In past entries, I've been open about my struggles with depression. That job was not helping. My depression flared up on a pretty regular basis as I grew tired of being seen as little more than the school's "enforcer" and babysitter of "behaviorally-challenged" students. I had a lot more to offer, and this school was not interested in capitalizing on it. This actually turned out to be a breakthrough of sorts. I've questioned my self-worth over the years, but I was finally forced into a situation where I had to really believe in myself, what I was capable of, and what I was truly worth in order to thrive and make a much needed change in my life.
So at least one good thing came out of that .
(TO BE CONTINUED)
